Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
