Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
