ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
