Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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