super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
