so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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