yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Best friends brother. Beat that.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize