he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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