You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
