Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize