a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
