My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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