i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
