Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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