ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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