The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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