imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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