I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize