I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize