dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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