I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
