its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
