I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
