too bad you live with your parents still
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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