i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
A+ Viking dick
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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