The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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