You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
