the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
