If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
