we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
