i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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