well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize