She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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