i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
