i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
