About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
