I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
