She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
