I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
