So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
