Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
