we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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