I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
