When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
