Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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