Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
