I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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