Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
