I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
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Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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