im drinking this country out of the recession.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
