He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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