And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
