Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
