So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night