super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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