Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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