I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
