As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
