He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
