OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
